Ever since my parastomal hernia formed back in May 2019, an internal battle has being fought about whether I should do anything about it. I’ve had conversations with family and friends, a counsellor, those who’ve had a hernia and the professionals who operate on hernias and after weighing up all of the options I came to the conclusion in January 2020 that I would leave it alone.
I stuck to this decision for many months and even though I was always conscious of the hernia, I largely accepted it and didn’t worry about its appearance. I would still wear t-shirts that didn’t hide the hernia and wasn’t concerned about if people were looking at it.
Over the last 2 months I’ve been getting back into running and during that time I’ve been making a conscious effort to eat more healthily and workout more and during that time I’ve lost over a stone in weight and plan to try and lose another. I’d always thought, and I’m sure my surgeon confirmed, that by losing weight I’d help reduce the profile of the hernia but instead it’s either become more prominent during the weight loss or has grown slightly.
And now that it’s become more prominent, I’ve become more conscious of it. I’m still not concerned about whether people are looking at it but I can’t help constantly thinking about it and looking down and being reminded about it.
In addition to visually seeing it I’m also reminded about it by how it feels. I can’t always feel it it at times I experience sensations when it’s particularly prominent.
This has brought the hernia back to the forefront of my mind and I’m starting to think about whether I should do anything about it. It’s difficult because I know that I shouldn’t do anything about it, know that there are very real risks but when something plays on your mind it’s not straightforward to simply forget about it.
I fear this internal battle will rage on for much, much longer!