Musings

Today mark’s exactly one year with a stoma and what a rollercoaster of a year it’s been. There’s been ups and downs, set backs and some positives. Overall it hasn’t been a great experience but I’m feeling a lot more positive about the year ahead.

Since my hernia made it’s appearance around May 2019, I’ve been battling with the decision on whether to have it corrected with surgery. Back in November I thought I had made a decision not do anything about it only for the thoughts on having it done to come back stronger.

When making changes in life, it’s easy to quickly forget about how things used to be so I’m making an effort to remember how things used to be in order to make an informed decision in the future whether I continue to irrigate.

I made a life-changing decision and I regret it. There. I’ve said it. I regret having a colostomy bag fitted. I regret electing to have surgery and I’m currently where I am due to my decision. I have to figure out how to accept that and then move on.

Since discovering the race in 2016, the Christmas Tree Race in the Forest of Dean has been the highlight of the running calendar. I first ran it in a Christmassy t-shirt and the following year I had gone full on fancy dress mode with a customised Christmas Tree costume with lights and club branding. I was first Christmas tree home and won a prize for the best fancy dress.

When I signed up for a new bum, I didn’t really read the terms and conditions.  I just focused on the benefits of having a stoma. With every procedure there are going to be complications but you just presume that you’ll come out the other end fine and carry on without any issues. But then a hernia appears. 

Dear Rob

Remember the time you had a bum? I do, and it wasn’t good. Things got so bad that you decided to have it removed and replaced with a new bum but you’ve been dealt some issues and they haven’t been easy to deal with. 

This is a question I’ve asked myself many times and I find it difficult to answer. The ultimate answer always tends to be no but I’m forever questioning whether that’s the right answer.

If I rewind back to early 2018, I was embarking on a time of running to the toilets, feeling lethargic, feeling like I was forever having a fever, this was Crohn’s Disease reminding me that it was still there and trying to treat the flare up with the usual treatments of steroids and Humira injections would prove to be futile.