Musings

For The last 6 weeks I’ve been irrigating in the comfort of my own home. During that time I’ve built up a solid routine of irrigating first thing in the morning with kit that I’m comfortable with in a time that doesn’t interfere with me getting on with my day. Inevitably I would need to experience irrigating outside of the home and this weekend was that time.

One of the many downsides to having an inflammatory bowel disease like Crohn’s or Colitis is that you most likely have to take an immunosuppressant drug which makes you susceptible to illnesses and infections.

A month ago I made another big step in my journey of trying to get to grips with my stoma and the issues that can come with having one and started colostomy irrigation. So how have I got on?

January 28th marks a year that I’ve been seeing my team of practice nurses on an almost daily basis (I took two breaks to have more surgery). That’s a lot of visits – 231 visits to be precise (plus 45 district nurse visits). In that time you get to know your team of nurses well and get to observe the amazing job they do.

2020 for me is like a retry of 2019. I feel as though I gave it go with the colostomy bag but things did’t go quite to plan. In 2020, colostomy irrigation was introduced and after just a week it already feels like a game-changer.

Today mark’s exactly one year with a stoma and what a rollercoaster of a year it’s been. There’s been ups and downs, set backs and some positives. Overall it hasn’t been a great experience but I’m feeling a lot more positive about the year ahead.

Since my hernia made it’s appearance around May 2019, I’ve been battling with the decision on whether to have it corrected with surgery. Back in November I thought I had made a decision not do anything about it only for the thoughts on having it done to come back stronger.

When making changes in life, it’s easy to quickly forget about how things used to be so I’m making an effort to remember how things used to be in order to make an informed decision in the future whether I continue to irrigate.

I made a life-changing decision and I regret it. There. I’ve said it. I regret having a colostomy bag fitted. I regret electing to have surgery and I’m currently where I am due to my decision. I have to figure out how to accept that and then move on.